Helpdesk – Has got nothing to help [Inspired from Dilbert and self-experienced] - Part 1
Me: (After pressing 200 buttons and waiting on hold with some lousy music) Hi, I am xxx employee id: yyyy. I just realized my mail box is blocked to send any emails, can you please tell me why is that and what should I do to get that resolved
CSR: Your outlook is blocked because you have not submitted HighlyRedundantExtremelyTimeConsumingUtterlyStupidAbsolutelyNonsenseForm and that is why you cannot send any emails until you do that
Me: But I have filled that long back but the IllogicallyIntegrated ERP system does not allow me to submit the form gives an error that “You have not updated nonsensical database before submitting the form”. But I have entered all the nonsense I can think of and updated it
CSR: Oh is that so, in that case you have to log a service request
Me: I did that 7 days back and no one from the service desk responded and they have put that SR on low priority and now that SLA date is in the next millennium
CSR: You have to give me absolute information, what do you mean by next millennium?
Me: Ok. Its 31-12-3014
CSR: Thank you for that, I will see what I can do for you. Can you please tell me the request no.
Me: Yes, its I120000384849488884888848488848884993947772377737773773N-1223/399485*23oo9944#9938388
CSR: Oh its too long can you please send me that in an email?
Me: Sir, I believe you forgot something. If I could send my emails I wouldn’t be talking to you now
CSR: Oh yeah! I forgot. Let me get a pen to notedown, my system is hanged for not doing anything for last 48 hours. I guess I have to get my Id unlocked before I can help you. But I will note down the number for you. Please hold on I need to get a refill in my pen from stores
(after 30 mins)
CSR: I am back, I had to wait in queue and write a requisition slip signed by my manager with a note that I need a pen for doing my work and not to scribble his caricature during meetings, get it approved by my CEO and Chairman. So I managed to sneak in a charcoal piece from stores guy have to return it back after noting down your number. There are 2000 other guys waiting for this piece of charcoal
Me: So here is the number again I12000038484948888488884848884…
CSR: Wait a min, this code doesn’t belong to our group. You have to call other group called HighlyUniterestedToSupport Group.